- Are you emotionally ready?
Ending a relationship can be a big decision, especially if it is a long-term one or if there are children involved. It is often a difficult process, and it is important to consider whether you feel emotionally ready to take such a significant step.
2. Formalising the separation
If you are married, you will need to apply for a divorce, or a dissolution if you are in a civil partnership. If you are married, you may have also signed a pre or post nuptial agreement. If you are cohabiting as a couple, establish whether you have signed a cohabitation agreement at any point.
3. Practical arrangements
Some things may have to stay the same, but you may need to make some changes in the interim. It is helpful to identify early on what those changes should be. Do you intend to continue living together, and if so, would this be safe? If you plan on moving out of the property, is this feasible and affordable? If you feel like your partner might react negatively to the separation, consider whether you have any safety concerns. Don’t be afraid to seek support if you need it.
4. What is your living situation?
You need to think about the ownership of your property. Establish whether you own it separately or together, and if so, in what shares. If there is a mortgage, think about who is responsible for any outstanding repayments. In addition, consider whether you would like to retain the property post-separation and how important that is to you.
5. Your personal and joint finances
More often than not couples are tied together financially in some way. Make sure you can identify your bank accounts, both in your sole name and in your joint names. Consider the value of other properties you both might own, any businesses and investments, as well as liabilities – all of these things will be dealt with as part of the separation process.
6. Children
Children are usually one of the most important considerations when it comes to separation. The welfare of your children is paramount, and you need to consider their needs and feelings. Consider what is an age-appropriate way to tell them about your separation. You also need to think about their routine and what day-to-day arrangements might look like. Children need stability and it is important to minimise any negative impact on them resulting from your separation.
7. Your Will
Separation may feel all-consuming and it may be difficult to think about what may happen in the event of a death. However, it should not be overlooked so make sure you review and update your Will, if you have one. If you don’t have a Will, it may be a good time to make one.
8. What will the process look like?
It is important to consider what you wish your separation to look like. Reflect on your relationship dynamic and consider whether mediation can be a possible solution. Separation does not have to be confrontational. Couples are encouraged to try non-court dispute resolution methods from the outset. In addition to this, take care in choosing your legal representation – they need to be a good fit for you!
9. Do you need additional support?
As confident as you may feel in your decision to separate, it may still feel daunting to go ahead with it. Having somebody to confide in and share your struggles with makes a great difference, so it is important to have a good support system in place. Consider whether speaking to a counsellor or coach might be beneficial. You might also find that it is appropriate to discuss matters with a financial advisor or pension expert.
10. What will the future look like?
Try to avoid getting too entrenched in figures and negative dynamics. Remember to always look at the bigger picture and try your best to keep a positive outlook. Where do you want to be in 10 years’ time? Allow yourself to feel good about the future and think about what you need in order to get there.
If you would like any further information or help or advice please contact us on 0113 357 1270.
