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Advice for a long lasting relationship

When looking for advice on how to maintain a loving and happy relationship, divorce lawyers may not be the obvious choice. However, we probably know better than most how to avoid a breakdown in your relationship.

With years of experience in supporting men and women through separation and divorce, the team has seen first hand the common factors that can lead to a couple’s separation, so addressing those factors may help to sustain a lasting relationship.

1. Focus on your relationship – we all lead busy lives and it is easy to get wrapped up in work, children, friends and family. Making time for the two of you takes conscious effort and being more mindful of your relationship is one of the best investments of time you can make.

2. Communication is key – so often it is clear that both partners have a very different view on the relationship and often have no idea when the other is unhappy. Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Make sure that feelings or issues aren’t bottled up. Keep talking and never take anything ‘off the table’.

3. Do things together – as couples mature they can often end up leading very different lives, with separate hobbies, circles of friends and interests. Find things to do together on a regular basis. It could be something as simple as joining a wine appreciation society or learning a language together.

4. Lack of physical relationship – affection and intimacy are important to a relationship and problems in this area can lead to a wider malaise. Both men and women often cite a lack of affection in their divorce proceedings.

5. Have a life beyond the children – often couples will shape their lives around their children, so that after juggling school runs, sports activities and parties, there is little time left for their relationship. The problem can be amplified when the children leave home and couples realise they no longer have anything in common.

6. Remember what brought you together – as life moves on couples can often forget the things that brought them together in the first place. Make time in the relationship to revisit these factors. Have a meal at the restaurant you visited on your first date or go back to your first-holiday destination.

7. Take your time to get married – don’t rush into it. A recent study by the University of Utah found the optimal age to marry is between 28 and 32. It argued the odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties.

Every relationship is different but there are reasons which crop up time and time again that undoubtedly have an enormous impact on relationships. If people are more in tune with these factors, they can take positive steps to address them before it is too late. Taking time for each other is key in today’s busy world. It allows couples to focus on each other and remember why they got together in the first place.

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